A home without unity affect the lives of the the entire family. A family without unity cannot live peacefully, and a place where there is no peace, there is a war.
Every family desires to live in unity and in peace.
There are vital ingredient a family needs to live in unity of which I will discuss about today.
“Can two walk together except they agree?” Amos 3:3.
In order to establish unity in the family, Communication is very vital.
Communication is defined as a process of sharing information with another person in such a way that the recipient understands what you are saying. Talking, listening and understanding are all involved in the process of communication. Good communication skills is not only important in career but at home also. You build that skill from home. You acquire the skill in your family first before you go out there to make use of it. If you cannot apply that communication skills to live in peace and unity with your family, how can you apply such among others who are not your family. It’s the way you communicate the bring more people close to you.
Do you know that communication is often the missing link in a family without unity. It is the lifeblood of a strong family.
Thus, Communication means having something in common.
Below are 5 major ingredients that must accompany an effective Communication:
a.) Honesty: don’t lie or exaggerate. Let ‘A’ be ‘A’ don’t say it’s ‘B’.
b.) Speaking the truth in love: The way you address issues goes a long way to bring about unity in your family. For instance, a man whose wife prepared a salty meal will express his complain in love. E.g. He could say “What a delicious meal. Next time, please cut the salt.”
He should not talk with annoyance by uttering negative and discouraging statements such as, “You don’t even know how to cook, you spoil it with too much salt.”
c.) Speaking your spouse’s language: Speak what you both understand because communication without understanding is meaningless.
d.) Speak with understanding: Ensure that you both understand what you are discussing. If there is no understanding, that session is a waste of time.
e.) Think before you speak: Don’t just speak but think first. Be quick to hear and slow to speak.
Prov. 29:20 – do you see a man hasty in his words? There is more hope for fool than for him.
There are communication killers you need to avoid before it breaks that bond.
Hence, avoid the following:
Selfishness: you always seem to be right in your own eyes. Thinking about yourself without considering other members of the family.
Arguing: silence as a weapon in resolving conflict. Avoid arguments and be silent when needed.
Wrong words – Words can build or destroy.
Wrong timing – Ecc. 8:6 – There is a proper time or procedure for every matter. Speak the right word at the right time.
Prov. 24:3 – By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.
To establish unity in the family, you are to observe the following:
- Spend time together as a family in eating, watching a program and studying the Bible
- Learn to accommodate one another
- Understand the differences in people.
- Understand the personality of your spouse and children. Understand their physical make up, sex, emotion and intuition.
- Love and appreciate the members of the family.
1 Cor. 13:4-8. “Love is patient, kind, does not envy, not boastful, not proud, not rude, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeps no record of wrong. etc.
- Commit to each other – Luke 11:17. ‘A house divided against itself will fall.’
Commitment is what marriage vows are all about.
- Be Good Parents
Eph. 6:4 – Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Parenting is an assignment given by God
Good parents are loving, welcoming and capable of taking care of their children
We often shift the responsibility to school, church and society. But certain things are best done by Parents. Your children are one job that no one else can do better than you.
Teach them – by example
Provide for them
Pray for them.
A woman who teaches someone else’s children is accorded professional status, but when she teaches her own children – she is just a mother.
A woman who cooks at a restaurant has a profession. When she feeds her husband and children, she is just cooking.
It has been well said that there are so many fathers who have children, but so few children who have fathers.
For boys in particular, Fathers are indispensable.
It takes men to build men
Do not focus on your role or responsibility alone, but know their needs and meet them
What children need most, besides discipline is:
In summary, to Establish Unity In The Family, this is the secret:
1. Unless the Lord builds the house, those who built it, labor in vain
2. Pray with and for your family.
3. Keep your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.
4. The happiest families are those who talk the most with each other
5. Understand your spouse’s and children’s basic needs and be willing to meet them
6. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
7. Commitment to your family builds lasting memories and relationships with your spouse and children, the people you are most responsible for.
8. Marriage is a companionship in which each partner helps each other to grow to maturity.
9. The proper use of money is to prosper and profit by its use.
10. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
In what other ways can you have unity in a family? Let’s have your own opinion.