When there is no happiness in marriage, you cannot enjoy it. You keep hurting yourself and those around you. The more you keep doing that, you are adding more salt to your injury.
It is better for you to find the solution to it than nurturing bitterness in your heart.
Providing the right solution is the best way to enjoy your marriage. This will help you sustain your marriage and it will be free from troubles of the heart.
How to sustain happiness in marriage
The tips discussed below will serve as a guide to restore comfort, peace, joy and happiness into your marriage.
1. Put off your old man and renew your mind
“That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24).
There are some habits affecting your marriage negatively which you don’t know but your spouse informed you about it. You refused to listen thinking you were born with it. Am sorry to say this, ‘If you refuse to let it go, it can destroy you and turn your home upside down.’ I pray your home will not turn upside down.
You need to observe what your partner is telling you or even your family, and try to make adjustments before it’s too late. Work on yourself and let that joy and happiness be felt in your marriage.
2. Watch Your Words
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)
You are what you say. You possess what you confess. Don’t let evil and corruptible words come from you. Your words can either build your marriage or break it. Let your words be the right ones in time of challenges.
3. Be Kind
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted…” (Ephesians 4:32)
You need to be kind to each other. If you are not shown kindness outside, check your home. Do you show kindness to your spouse or your children? Even the Bible makes us to understand that God will be kind to those who are kind.
Showing kindness will make you receive kindness from others.
4. Forgive Easily
“….forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Holding grudges, keeping malice and nurturing bitterness in your heart because you’re offended give the devil a chance in your marriage.
Let me tell you this, ‘If you cannot forgive and forget, you will be hindered from some blessings. You will keep having nightmares because you’re not at peace with your spouse.’
If you don’t forgive your spouse, God cannot forgive you and your prayers cannot be answered.
5. Control Your Anger
Anger is blindness. It does not make you see the face of any man with truth.
It behaves towards your friends and loved ones as enemies. It does not acknowledge anyone. Anger has no respect for anybody.
When anyone speaks against you, do not be moved to anger.
There are some that destroy things around them when they are angry. That’s too bad!
I have seen a lady who destroyed her husband motorcycle when they had a quarrel. She later said it was devil’s work. A woman that does that everytime can’t enjoy her marriage. The husband will be afraid to have precious or expensive things around her because he knows what can happen when any misunderstanding arises.
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26)
Whenever you are angry, try to control yourself. It’s normal to be angry but if you fail to control it, you will behave abnormal.
You can control your anger by leaving the place for some minutes or avoid that thing that leads to anger. Keep away bitterness and malice. They can contribute to anger when they saturate your mind. Therefore, work on yourself and control your anger.
6. Work in Love
Love is the most important thing in marriage. Not only in marriage but in life.
“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.” (Ephesians 5:2)
If you love yourselves, you won’t want to hurt yourselves. You need to remember that love you had at first when you met each other then.
In some marriages, I discovered that the love reduces after giving birth to two or three children. The marriage gets boring, and the couples keep complaining about each other everyday.
It shouldn’t be like that. Though it happens, but you need to revive your marriage and restore that joy and happiness in your marriage. You can do that by having a date, going out together to places to refresh that love. Try every possible way to rekindle that love as it helps in sustaining happiness in marriage.
7. Be Submissive
Submission is one of the key factors that will sustain your marriage. This aspect is for you wives. As a good wife that has the fear of God, you must be submissive to your husband in order to keep that love refreshed.
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:21-22)
No matter your position or title, you must be submissive to your husband. Whether you are earning more than your husband or your husband’s is having a smaller stature, you must be submissive to him. He is the head as Christ is the head of the church.
In summary, in order to sustain happiness in your marriage, you have to:
- Put off the old man and renew your mind.
- Watch your words.
- Be kind to one another.
- Forgive one another.
- Control your anger.
- Walk in love.
- Be submissive in the fear of God.
Remember that you must sustain that joy and happiness by observing these at all times.
Now that you understand all these, I will conclude with a portion from Ephesians 5:8, “….but now you are in light in the Lord, walk as the children of light.”