Effective Communication with Children: Tips on How to Get Your Kids Listen to You

How can you communicate effectively with your children?

How can you get them listen to you?

Is your child so stubborn that you find it difficult to talk to him or her?

Do you find it difficult to express yourself before your children?

I know that all fingers are not equal. Not all your children will assimilate at the same rate. Their assimilation rate differs. That is why you need to be effective in the way you communicate to command respect. Not just respect but speak with authority whereby your children understand you and take heed to instructions.

This article is all about effective communication skills parents must possess to get their children listen to them. I believe that at the end of this post, you will find the tips and ideas worthy to apply for you to raise a virtuous child that you will be proud of.

Possessing Good Communication Skills

Good communication skills are the foundation for building a great relationship with your kids. However, so many different elements get thrown in the way that listening and communicating aren’t always easy or effective.

When I was growing up, my parents used body language to communicate with me and my siblings. Also, they used sense organs also to communicate and we understood what they were saying. From winking of the eye to facial expressions and so on.

Nowadays, majority don’t teach their children in such way. I mean parents are not communicating with the use of sense organs through facial expressions or the body language. Those who didn’t train their children at home with such methods get embarrassed outside. For example, a little boy was given biscuits by a stranger and his mother was trying to tell him to ignore it by using facial expression. The boy observed her mother and asked, “Mum what happen to your eyes that you are winking your eyes.”

What is Conmunication?

Communication is the act of communicating. It is the concept or state of exchanging information between entities either by a conversation or discourse. To communicate means, to impart or transmit information or knowledge to someone; to make known, to tell.
When you communicate, you express or convey ideas, either through verbal or nonverbal means.

There are times when you think you are communicating but you are not. Why? Because the message you are passing across is not understood.

Communication is not about speaking vocabulary or grammar that will show that, yes I can speak English. It’s about expressing yourself in a way the person you are communicating with, understands you well.

Talking versus Being Heard

Are you really communicating with your kids or you are just talking?

Effective communication skills will make your kids listen to you and pay attention to all you are saying. This means that, they heard all that you informed them. They understand all that you said and ask questions on what seems confusing or unclear to them.

Let’s take a look at the conversations below:

“I’ve informed you a several times to stop using that comb, it’s not what you can use until you grow up.”

“Ok mum, am sorry ma.”

The mother explains why her daughter should not use the comb. The child understands and stops using it.

“Eh! Come here, I don’t want to see you near that drink that’s in the refrigerator. Don’t think you will drink it and top with water.”

“Daddy! Daddy!! Why will I put water?”

The man gives his son the idea of adding water to drink which the child just learnt. The child might drink out of the drink and top it with water.

Children are so sensitive to words and you need to know how you present them. Your expressions really matter. The way you speak and the authority behind it is very important. Don’t think that your children are not watching it. They know what you think they don’t know.

Tips on How To Get Your Kids Listen To You

Here are some tips that can help you to improve communication with your kids. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will mind you or agree with what you are saying, which is okay, but at least they will hear what you are saying. They will understand, reason with you and then agree.

If you have something to say, and you want to be heard, do the following:

  • Get down to your children’s level
  • Use simple words
  • Get to the point
  • Don’t yell

Get down to your children’s level

When you really want your kids to hear you when you talk, physically get down to their level.
If you can’t squat, pick them up and put them on your lap.

Look them right in the eyes, speak calmly and slowly, and say what you have to say. Don’t be vague or babble and don’t try to impress your children with your fabulous expanded vocabulary.

Encourage your children to pay attention. Kids can be standing right in front of you without paying attention to you.

You certainly don’t need to get down to your children’s level to say, “Good morning,” or “Are you hungry?”

Save this kind of action for serious conversations such as, “Now, Simon, what did you do with Mommy’s keys?” or, “Do you understand why you got into trouble for hitting your brother over the head with the bat?”
But don’t forget that the most important part of communicating is being a good listener.
Communication can’t work both ways when you’re doing all the talking and none of the listening.

Use Simple Words

Use words they understand. Don’t beat about the bush trying to confuse them.

Get to the point

Go straight to the point. Call a spade a spade. Don’t be afraid to speak to them. Let your YES be YES.

Don’t Yell

Yelling at them will not solve the problem. It quicken their anger which makes them not to listen but they are just hearing.

The Bible says, “….do not provoke your child to anger.”

Effective communication builds a long lasting relationship between you and your children. Therefore, you need to work towards improving how you communicate with your children and understand them better.


About Olabode Adediya

Olabode Adediya (Bodjetstar) is the founder of Channel of Virtue. He is the host of The Great Value Show, an personal development podcast. He is an Author, Writer, Motivational Speaker and Content Creator. Connect with him on social media @Bodjetstar.


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