Respect is an attitude of consideration or high regard. In marriage, respect Is one of the major factor for happiness to exist.
Respect involves considering and honoring each other. Respectful spouses care about each other, even when there is a disagreement. Instead of talking about conflicts, they listen respectfully to their spouses’ perspectives and they find compromises that work for both sides.
If your husband is older than you, respect is not only by calling him with titles or whatsoever you decided to call him because of age difference, but the way you speak to your husband and your attitudes toward him. Likewise, husbands must also respect their wives because respect is reciprocal.
In this article, you will discover why respect matters in marriage and how to fix this issue quickly.
Respectful speech is the mortal that can hold your marriage together.
The way you respect yourselves teaches your children how to respect others. For example, if you, as a parent, do not show respect at home, your children cannot respect others outside. You cannot tell your child to show respect to others when you don’t show it at home.
You cannot just train children by telling them to do something. You have to let them see you doing it. Children learn from their parents.
You need to respect your spouse (as couple) and let your child learn that attitude from you as their parents.
It is not a matter of whether you view yourself as respectful or not; it is a question of whether your spouse feels respected.
The Bible makes us to understand that love does not look for its own interest. (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
Why Respect Matters
Without respect, conversation between spouses can become laced with criticism, sarcasm, and even contempt. These are qualities that researchers say are early predictors of divorce.
Disrespectful husband or wife will be revealed in the public and this will leads to an unforgettable insults. It will results in shame for such couple who tries to disrespect others just as they always do to their own spouse.
Some, their children will also disrespect others without feeling guilty about it. It becomes part of their lives.
A wife that doesn’t respect her husband will show it in the public whereby the husband will be insulted. This will happen when they are going for a function and the wife tries to disrespect someone older than her. This will show that she has no regard for those older than her, likewise her husband. Then, she will be abused and if the husband tries to defend her, he will be insulted also.
There was a time at the bus-stop when a couple were waiting for bus. There was a little misunderstanding when they were about to board the bus and the wife began to insult the conductor.
The husband could not caution his wife. The transport union (NURTW) members who interfered observed that the wife is disrespectful despite the fact that they were settling the matter.
The way the woman was insulting them made those involved to insult her that she had no respect for husband. If she had respect for her husband, she wouldn’t talk like that to others and have a regard for her husband who was standing there.
The transport union workers at the bus-stop concluded that those couple would not be allowed to board any bus there.
From this story, the woman brought shame to her husband because she did not have regards for others. She lacked respect and made it known publicly.
It is not only the women, but some men also don’t respect others.
For instance, a man who never for once has a regard for his wife will reveal it one day publicly which will make people to insult him. He would have forgotten that it is not his wife he was disrespecting publicly. He would insult other women as if he was talking to his house wife.
I trust some Nigerian women who cannot tolerate such attitude from a man. They would replied such man. That might make him think right and repent to treat others well in word and deed.
What You Can Do to Resolve This Issue
If you have been called to notice concerning this issue or you have been observing this attitude in you but don’t know how to overcome it, here is what to do.
The first is to test yourself by tracking your conversation and action for a week.
Then ask yourself these questions:
- How often did I criticize my spouse, and how often did I give him/her a compliment?
- In what specific ways did I show respect for my spouse.
Secondly, discuss with your spouse.
When you want to discuss with your spouse, let your discussion base on the following as a checklist:
- What actions and words would help each of you feel respected?
- What actions and words make each of you feel disrespected?
You have to clothe yourselves with the tender affections of compassion, kindness, humility, mildness and patience. (Colossians 3:12).
Moreover, you can also do the following:
- Write down the ways you would like to be shown respect. List up to three while you have your spouse do the same. Exchange the lists, and work on showing respect on the areas that were identified.
- Make a list of traits that you admire about your spouse. Then tell your spouse about how much you appreciate those traits.
In conclusion, it is very important to show respect in your marriage because your children learn from you. They observe your behaviour and attitudes towards your spouse.
It is not too late if you apply the tips discussed above in for you to have a happy home. Remember that you are raising and nurturing Godly home. Respect is part of what you need to build your home.